Whispers

God has sent little whispers to my heart.

By the time I got to church yesterday, I was feeling overwhelmed.  I locked myself in Jesse's office when he took the jr. high kids for youth group time, and just sat in his chair and cried. 

Aside from my love for Jesse and my desire to care for him and make a happy home for him, I feel unfulfilled in life.  I miss the feeling of belonging somewhere.  I belong at Jesse's side, I belong in our home--and I'm truly happy there--but I don't feel like I belong anywhere else.  It's been over two years since I had a job that I loved--where I felt called to be and where people were happy to have me.  It's lonely floating around from one thing to another...and as relieved as I am to have a position right now, I know that it's not what I want for my life.  I don't feel needed, and I don't feel fulfilled.  I didn't need to go to college for five years to get this job, and when I look at all of my studet loans and realize I'm not making enough right now to be able to take care of it, I get stressed. 

Being a substitute teacher for the past two years has just torn at my soul.  It's such a lonely thing to fill in for someone else but to be a "nobody" at the same time.  I started to feel transparent--like I didn't expect anyone to pay attention to me because...why should they?  I find myself acting like that where I am now, too, and I hate it.

I feel guilt for not being able to pull my weight for the entirety of our marriage.  I worked full time as a preschool teacher through college, and I looooooved it.  I was so happy there.  But pursuing elementary teaching has been one hopeless thing after another.

Jesse doesn't want me to worry.  We've always agreed that he would be the bread-winner.  We don't want to depend on my earnings so that some day, I can stop and devote my days to being a mommy.  But that's not where we are yet, and I want to be doing everything I can to help us out in the meantime! 

There are so many unknowns these days...and sometimes my fears for the future cloud out my trust in God.  I reeeeeeally need to work on that.  How can I be a loving, supporting wife if I don't trust in God?  There's no way that Jesse and I can do this ourselves!  How can I say that I'm a child of God if I don't hand Him everything as faithfully as I handed my troubles to my parents when I was a little girl?

Last night at our young adult Bible study, Jesse opened the Bible to 1 John 3.  These verses really spoke to me:

1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. 2Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. 3Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure.

I need to remember that I'm a creation that is not yet complete...God is forming me and shaping me everyday.  Someday, I'll probably look back on these days and understand why they were needed.  Until then, I'm just praying for peace, patience, and a whole lot of trust!




This came in my email today from my friend Sarah (who used towork at the preschool with me) It's a simple reminder, too.


ABCs you should always remember:


Although things are not perfect


Because of trial or pain

Continue in thanksgiving

Do not begin to blame

Even when the times are hard

Fierce winds are bound to blow

God is forever able

Hold on to what you know

Imagine life without His love

Joy would cease to be

Keep thanking Him for all the things

Love imparts to thee

Move out of "Camp Complaining"

No weapon that is known

On earth can yield the power

Praise can do alone

Quit looking at the future

Redeem the time at hand

Start every day with worship

To "thank" is a command

Until we see Him coming

Victorious in the sky

We'll run the race with gratitude

Xalting God most high

Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...

Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

 

A Shadow Day

I hate feeling weak...I hate feeling helpless...I hate being discouraged.  There's nothing earth-shattering going on in our lives right now (don't worry!).  It's just one of those days.  I wish I could pull the covers over my head and curl up with Jesse and stay safe in our own fluffy, vanilla-scented, little world.

Maybe only people who are church workers know how I feel today; maybe anyone who works closely with hundreds of people would.  I don't know.  All I know is, somedays, it sure would be nice to get a hug from God.

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for Heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
A constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches over me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me 

His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me (He watches me)
He watches me (I know he watches me)

"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth
But one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
When hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
From care He sets me free:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He cares for me.

Oh, Yum...

Why, hello, new challenge!!!

I finally got to get my craft store fix yesterday.  Hooray for being finished with my challenge in time to enjoy the Columbus Day Sale!

Don't you love saving as much as you spend?

Mhmmmmm :-)

These will whip up into some pretty scarf/hat sets for the November sale...and some cute little ornaments and doilies and things.  So much fun!

What's your newest project?

Happy Homemaking!
♥ Bethany

I Conquered My Challenge!

Last month, after looking around my house and realizing that I had more than enough craft odds and ends to keep me busy for a long time, I challenged myself to make 25 things out of what I already have before I allowed myself to walk into a craft store again.

It was a pretty difficult thing to do, considering how Michael's AND JoAnn's went on huge sales the week after I made the challenge.  That was painful!

I stuck to it, though, and after counting my things up yesterday, realized that I had surpassed my required 25 things!  I had a few projects stashed in one room, a few in another, some in this closet, some in that bag...story of my life!

But here I am, with about 30 beautiful newly created items that I can put on the table on Noveber 13th when Momma B and I do the craft fair together.  So exciting!

I'm not going to post pictures of all 25+ things that I made, but here are some of my highlights!

I made lots of bracelet/earrings sets...and this is one of my favorites!  I love the whimsical dragonfly clasps and matching earring dangles, and the way they compliment the pretty blue and green glass beads from my collection.

I found this cute dog button and pawprint ribbon on the same day and was determined to have some fun with it :-)

I love these yarns together!  My first ear-flaps baby hat.

I love these little flowers and had fun finding lots of ways to use them!

I put a small button on this one and added a bobby pin--such a sweet and easy accessory!

Super soft hooded sweater

I was sooo excited to be able to find these adorable little mother of pearl heart-shaped buttons to match the pink flecks in this litle sweater.  I love accessorizing :-)

That's a snippet of what's been keeping my busy for the last few weeks...

I'm excited for new things now!

Happy Homemaking!

♥ Bethany

Gee Whiz, Cheese Whiz!

I had the most ridiculous experience on Friday.

I  was rushing down to Laguna Beach for a women's retreat straight from work and knew that traffic was going to be horrible.  On my way there, I stopped at a grocery store to pick up some snacks for the weekend and splurged on some "Easy Cheese" and Triscuits.  Cheese spread and crackers was always a special treat between my mom and me...it's kind of expensive, so we rarely ever bought it.  Whenever we did, it was something to relish and enjoy!

Since Jesse doesn't like Easy Cheese, (and thinks it smells gross), I decided to get some while I wouldn't be around him.  That's a loving thing to do, rightt?  :0)

 It was a great snack for the drive.  I kept the cheese bottle in one of the cup holders, and held the box of crackers in my lap.  Whenever I got to a red light, I'd squirt some cheese on a Triscuit and munch happily away as I coasted through the beautiful ocean town of Laguna Beach.  MAN, I MISS LIVING NEAR THE OCEAN!!!

Annnnnnyway, when I finally arrived at the resort, I pulled into a parking space and shifted into "Park."  Something landed on my hand, and I realized that the shift stick had hit the nozzle of the cheese container (which was still in the cup holder) and sent cheese spraying everywhere!  A second later, I realized that it hadn't just pressed the nozzle, it was still pressing the nozzle, and now cheese spread was squirting over the shift stick, all over the cup holder, and spilling over the sides of the center console down to the floor.  That was one high-pressure nozzle! 

The most ridiculous part was that when I had shifted to Park, it wedged the nozzle between the shift stick and the cupholder so that as hard as I tried, I couldn't pull the cheese bottle out of that crazy situation withoiut shifting to Reverse to give the cheese bottle more space and get it out of there!

By the time I had done that, nearly the entire bottle had emptied, and Jesse's car (yes, I was driving HIS!) was covered in one of his least favorite food items! 

Wow...what a way to begin a "relaxing" women's retreat!

Just thought you'd enjoy a laugh with me...who would've ever expected that to happen?!?

Jalapeño Jelly

One of the ladies at work today brought in the yummiest treat!  She made jalapeño jelly at home and brought it in with stone ground wheat crackers and cream cheese spread.  It wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, but it tasted just wonderful!

I haven't gotten to try the recipe myself, but I wanted to save it so that I don't forget it (and I figured I'd share it with you!)

♥ 1 large green bell pepper
♥12 jalapeno peppers

♥1 1/2 cups apple cider vinegar

♥1 pinch salt

♥4 1/4 cups granulated sugar

♥4 ounces liquid pectin

♥4 jalapeno peppers, seeded and finely chopped
 
1.Combine the green bell pepper and 12 jalapeno peppers in the container of a food processor or blender. Process until finely chopped. This can be done in batches, if the peppers do not fit.


2.Transfer the peppers to a large saucepan, and stir in the cider vinegar. Bring to a boil, and let simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. Strain the mixture through at least 2 layers of cheesecloth, and discard pulp. You should have about 1 cup of liquid.

3.Return the liquid to the saucepan, and stir in the salt and sugar until dissolved. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. When the mixture comes to a rolling boil (one that cannot be stirred down), boil for one minute, then stir in the liquid pectin.

4.Stir in the remaining jalapeno peppers, and ladle into sterile jars leaving 1/4 inch headspace. Seal jars in a hot water bath. Refrigerate jelly after seal is broken.





If you get to try it before I do, make sure you tell me about it!
 
 
 
 
P.S. Along with the jalapeno jelly, she also set out a platter of tomato slices soaked in balsamic vinegar.  Balsamic tomatoes on top of cream cheese crackers?  Who know that would be so tasty?!?
Give that one a try, too!

Happy Homemaking!
♥ Bethany

One Lovely Blog Award

A huge smile broke out across my face when I got home today.  I've been awarded my very first blog award!

My sweet friend Paris over at Bless My Nest nominated me for the One Lovely Blog award and said this about me:





Bethany is the craftiest gal I know, and I mean that in a wonderful way! She blogs about newlywed life with her husband, inspiring crafting endeavors, yummy recipes and her entertaining recollections of various experiences as a teacher.

I've been blessed to know Paris and truly look up to her as an inspiration for wholesome, Christian family living.  Paris, her husband David, and their adorable son James are such a wonderful, happy little family! 

The rules in receiving the award are:

1. Accept the award and acknowledge the person who bestowed it upon me.

2. Pay it forward to 15 newly discovered blogs you enjoy.

I'm going to play the rules a bit differently, because I don't expect everyone I award to turn around and find 15 other blogs.  It takes a lot of time, and I know that many of you are very, very busy!  But I wanted to recognize you as bloggers whom I love, let you know that I appreciate you, and send some happy blogger hopefuls your way!

♥ Taking Off the Shoes ♥

Laura's blog is a collage of favorite song lyrics, funny memories, inspiring quotes,  poetry, and the day-to-day thoughts on life as a 17 year old.  Her blog is the first one I check each day [and it's not only because she's my baby sister!]  Also, don't forget to check out her music playlist in the sidebar.  It's played 24/7 over here :-)

♥  Posie Gets Cozy ♥

I love escaping to the beautiful little world of Alicia Paulson.  Her blog depicts her day-to-day life of working in her home studio creating beautiul quilts, sweet crocheted projects, and lovely embroidered pieces.  It's refreshing, soothing, and brings me back to the coast I miss so much.

♥ Notes From the Plumb Tree ♥

I found Jenny's blog through her Etsy shop.  Oringinally, I simply fell in love with the sweet little shoes and baby things she creates, but now I love reading about her three beautiful children and her experiences as a first year homeschool mom.

♥ Ruffles and Stuff ♥

I discovered this little beauty a bit too late.  Disney, the gorgeous mom/pastor's wife/crafter of this blog is no longer regularly blogging.  This blog is chockful of beautiful little ideas for sweet and dainty crafts, and even though new posts won't be showing up very often, you'll still get some wonderful ideas from what she has already written!

♥ Mission Mathematician ♥

Katie is a spunky young woman  bringing Jesus' love to Africa.  She is two months into her second year of teaching in Malawi, and always has interesting stories to tell.  Her blog wll inspire you, remind you of how blessed we are with everything we have, and refresh you with God's Word. 

♥ The Pretty Bitty Blog ♥
Bonnie is a sweet young wife and mother who delights in making beautiful little outfits for her adorable baby girl, Elora.  I love picking up her  money-saving techniques and filing them away for my own kids someday. 

♥ Make It and Love It ♥

Ashley and Brittany have teamed up to create this wonderful blog full of gorgeous photos and step-by-step tutorials to help you do everything from sewing a tutu for your little girl to decorating a cake pretty enough for The Cake Boss.  Check it out, have fun making one of their projects, and then post your pictures in their "You Made It/Love It" section of the blog :-)

♥ Bee In My Bonnet ♥

Lori's blog makes me drool.  The quilts that she designs and creates are a mystery to me--they don't seem humanly possible!  Her attention to detail, her lovely applique, and the way that she brings stories to life through fabric makes me envious (in as christianly a way as possible!)  See what I mean?

♥ Our Life and Times♥

Mollie's photos of her two beautiful children will bring a smile to your face.  She's a young, energetic mom who delights in finding healthy recipes for her husband and kids, decorating her home, and sharing tips on happy, healthy, frugal living. 

♥ Sunny Bug ♥

Oh my, I've actually found someone else who loves Martha as much as I do!  Aside from that (which I only discovered yesterday, anyway!), Elizabeth's blog is truly a treat.  It is full of all sorts of creative projects to sew, bake, or make.  And who can resist her cute site?

♥ My Ramblings ♥

Candace is new to the blogging scene and has great ideas and recipes!  She shares insight on newlywed life, thoughts on Scripture, and fun, creative ideas.  Don't miss the blog she shares with her husband, Matt :-)  A Couple of "Ott"ers

♥ Heatherlydee ♥

Heather is a gorgeous girl who is honest, down to earth, has a flair for fashion, and a heart for God.  I love her picture posts, her frugal fashion tips, and entries that make my heart sing.

♥ You Go Girl! ♥

Cassie has so many beautiful handmade things on her blog that I could be happy reading it for hours.  I love her crocheted lace pillow cases, her cute handbags, sweet aprons, and adorable outfits.  For those of you who don't know how to crochet, she has great tutorials to teach you!

♥ My Not So Glamorous Life ♥

Jenn blogs from the heart.  Her thoughts on daiy life, cute stories about her family, and pictures of their adventures are always fun to follow. 

♥ This Is Reverb ♥

There's no way I'm telling Pastor Ryan that I'm giving him the "One Lovely Blog" award, but I just wanted to mention him here so that you can check out his blog!  Pastor Ryan's blog is not simply theological; he captures moments with his wife and two adorable little ones, shares step-by-step recipes, and the inspiring photos he takes.

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